Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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