If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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