They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
