Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
We named our party play list daddy issues
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
