Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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