If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
You know, be my cock's hype man.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
