So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
