i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
it glows. i had to have it.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
The adults are the big ones right?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
