I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Watching her eat just hurts me
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
