Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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