doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
