I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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