Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
The adults are the big ones right?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
