i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
