boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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