Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
She has the best kind of daddy issues
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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