Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
He passed out mid-signature
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Randomize
