a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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