i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
