i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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