His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
