brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
