i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
