Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
This is my gift to your gina
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
