i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
