just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I want her autograph on my taint
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
