Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
