well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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