He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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