Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
