Sponge bath it is.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Randomize
