I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
My penis needs a shock collar
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Floor bacon is actually really good
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
