I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
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quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
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I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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