Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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