I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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