If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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