I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
