My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
