where am i from again
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Randomize
