When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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