I must be too annoying 4 u.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
