i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
