Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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