fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
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He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
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I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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