morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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