Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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