a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Non-Jews are for practice
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize