i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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