he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
