I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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