I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
