I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
