she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
