Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Randomize
