we have officially lost it.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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