You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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