best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
