if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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