If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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