Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
