i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
